Monday, July 11, 2011

The last Chapter !!!!


Hey how are things going? What a crazy two years. At times I sit here thinking is this real? Have I been dreaming? I don't know what really to think or what to say about it. Except for amazing. I remember always when people would say the best two years I remember thinking oh wow listen to all the good things they say about it. It must be fun some type of vacation. This was definitely no vacation. What I learned was there are nights you wet your pillow with tears. For reasons varying from missing home, being dropped by those you love, or from all the rejection you go through day in and day out. By no means has this been the easiest thing in my life. It has been among the hardest. I have never written of these things because I always wanted to find the positive I wanted no one to worry. Now then that being said this has been the BEST THING FOR MY LIFE! Nothing has ranked even close to it. The things I have learned have been amazing. The feeling, strength, and comfort that come from the Lord after all these trials are like none other. I would never trade my mission in for anything. I have made friends that have taught me, comforted me, and pushed me when I felt like throwing in the towel. The mission is where everyone should be. The reason I get upset when I see missionaries goofing off or when people say the mission is not for them. Is the fact that they could never be so wrong in there life. The mission is for everyone especially those who have messed up. Who like me thought with my past what could I offer the Lord and this world. If any reading this thinks this way. My response is don't deny the atonement any longer in your life accept move on. And always remember Alma the Younger and Sons of Mosiah who when I think of these guys I think get out of there way because we will just slow them down. Well were they not the same who it was said were among the most vilest of sinners. And if these can conquer sin through the Atonement and go on to be great missionaries perhaps among the best of the Book of Mormon. And what about Paul or perhaps we shall remember him as Saul who was on the road to Damascus to incarcerate members of the church who also at the stoning of Stephen held the coat of those who casted stones. If he who is the great missionary of the New Testament can overcome and become great through the Atonement. Let excuses no more get in our way. For to long did I let them rule my life.

I am grateful for you mom and you dad! As well as for my family and friends. It was you who helped me I would not be here today without each and everyone of you. I would be I am sure still be doing drugs and in the activities that I was in that was utterly destroying my life. And those around me who I professed to love. I love you guys more then you will ever know. On this nights when I felt like quitting it was the thought of you that gave me strength. It was you who gave me the desire and the will power to move on and to continue despite difficulties. I am who I am thanks to you and as well as in great part to the Lord. Who was willing to leave the 99 and go and find me. At times I thought what happened was harsh. But it was what I needed. I would never change it. I know without a doubt in my mind that prayers of parents were heard. And this was what was going to make me realize it. I love you guys I am grateful for my mission. Especially for the nights I thought the Lord had forsaken me. For without these trials I never would know the joy that comes soon after. I would never be able to recognize the miracles that are always around me. I often times think of my favorite picture of Christ it was the one grandma had on our night stand. And it was just a normal picture of his face and it had a saying which read I never said it would be easy just worthwhile. How true that is for a mission. It was never easy but always worthwhile. I can't wait to see each of you and give you hugs. It will be something I will look forward to. I am sure all of facebook is glad the day count is almost over. I am sure most if not all are annoyed. LOL I love ya.



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